Worship and Marriage

What is Worship?

Worship can be defined as intimacy. Intimacy is defined as something of a personal or private nature; to communicate delicately; belonging to or characterizing one’s deepest nature; marked by a warm friendship developing through long association.

Naturally who should we be intimate with, or should I ask who did God intend for us to be intimate with?

Intimacy was created to be with one person, our spouse and to do so to be fruitful and multiply. In our intimate time with God we should become fruitful in our spirits and in our lives. There should be expansion in our growth in the spirit and manifestation of growth in our natural lives. It should be so evident that others should be able to see. There is no way a woman can become pregnant and look and do the same things before bringing forth fruit. There is a change in a woman’s attitude, diet, appetite and appearance. There’s even a difference in the way she views her environment. She notices those things can threaten her seed.  She is very careful with how she maneuvers her way through life’s obstacles. True worship does the exact same thing in our spirits. The spirit of God impregnates us and we have no other choice but to change. We should then begin to protect the seed God has placed in our spirit and be careful about how we carry what God had blessed us with.

 

Why is intimacy so important?

In the natural, sex is a form of communication and brings a union closer emotionally and physically. It keeps our relationship fresh and on fire. Without intimacy in marriage the relationship has a void or emptiness and it invites the enemy to tempt you to fulfill that void elsewhere. The same principle happens in our spirits when we fail to have intimate worship with God. There is a definite void in our relationship with Christ and we begin to look for everything else to fill the hole found in our spirits instead of yielding ourselves to the Holy Spirit in worship. Just talking to your mate isn’t enough to satisfy the natural needs of our bodies. Prayer isn’t enough for God either.  Worship causes us to fall deeper in love with Him on another level.

In our marriage one can desire to be intimate and the other can be busy in other affairs or have  other things pressing their minds. In those cases one has to be encouraged to do so. Your Spirit can desire to worship when our flesh is worn out, tired, frustrated and even just not in the mood, but this is when the Spirit of God that lives in you can prompt you to worship through song, words, and even a thought about how awesome God has been. The lover of our soul desires to be intimate with his people.

Naturally, during our time of intimacy we don’t care what we look like, sound like, what we say and sometimes where we are. J  So, why are we selective when it comes to worship and our personal time with God?  After worship we feel lighter, strengthened, and free. Just like in the natural spending time with someone and sharing leads to intimacy. We should to spend time in conversation to begin worshipping God in Spirit and in truth. This is how God designed it.  Just talking to God in public settings isn’t enough, corporate prayer is needed but personal time is vital to the health of our walk and relationship in with our savior Jesus Christ!

Catch the Vision

It’s a brand new year, more importantly it’s a brand new day. God has given us another chance to get it right. We have yet another opportunity to set things in order. Husbands, this post is particularly for us. God has made us the heads of our homes. This doesn’t mean dictator it means head. The head is where the eyes, ear, and mouth are located.  Through us God has given our family vision. The Lord will speak directly to us concerning our home. The Word for our household comes through you and me as the head. Ephesians 5:23 reads, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body”.  Paul wrote this that we might have clarity of our position. Now, before we get all puffy in the chest, we have to understand the grand responsibility of this role.

God didn’t put us here because we’re strong or look good. We are by no means a figure head in our homes. God holds us accountable for that which He has charged us. Let’s take a look at the beginning. In the book of Genesis, prior to God “forming” Eve in the flesh He spoke to Adam giving him instructions on how to conduct himself in the garden. God made it clear to Adam what was expected of him. The Lord even laid out the consequences for disobedience. He gave Adam the vision for his home. It was Adam’s responsibility to later convey that vision to his wife. At the time Eve was not present in flesh, which confirms to us that this conversation was between man and God however, greatly impacted the entire home. The Bible never shows us where this conversation ever happened, however a few things offer room to suggest it did. The vision God gave Adam was three fold in addressing the three areas of man; spirit, soul, and flesh. In Genesis 1:28-30, God dealt with the spirit in regards to purpose, dominion, and provision. In Genesis 2:7 God gave Adam’s soul life. The soul of a man is made up of his mind, will and emotions. We can call that the process center. He gave man the ability to think and feel; he gave him intuition.  Lastly in Genesis 2:8-17 God dealt with the flesh of the man. This is where God gave Adam a place to fulfill the vision; he gave him nourishment, pleasure, boundaries and instruction (He told him to and not to do). Remember, all of this pertains to vision. That which God gives us for our home will be everything we need. It will deal with every area of our life. If the vision does not cover every area, it is incomplete. I would encourage you, if you have not already done so, spend some time with God and understand what He expects for you. Some of us are in a great deal of lack because we aren’t carrying out what God has intended for our lives. After God gave Adam the vision He gave him a help meet. He gave Him a wife to help him carry out the vision. God did a great thing with this woman, He finished her with wisdom. She can be found in Proverbs 31. Shes here to help us work the plan. She is very much a part of the equation so we can not count her out. Be careful to run the vision past her. She may see holes that we don't see. She could very well hold the ansers to the questions we may not know to ask. She is vital. We can not omit her.

Let’s step away from Genesis for a few. Gentlemen, once we have clarity, we have to communicate the vision. Habakkuk 2:2 teaches us to write this vision and make it plain, that they may run that read it. This is important because it puts everyone on the same sheet of music. Not to mention as the days go on we may need a little reminding. The vision is what keeps our homes alive. Proverbs 29:18 says,” Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.”  In communicating the vision we also have to understand that while the vision is complete it is yet only in “Part”. Sounds like an oxymoron…. Let me explain. Remember that God dealt with all three parts of man in casting the vision to Adam. All three parts play vital roles in bringing the vision to fruition. They have to work together; they have to play their “Part”. The “Spirit” was first because it should dominate. This is why God gave the “spirit” of Adam dominion. Side note, this is why trying to dominate with the flesh or intellect doesn’t work. God didn’t give dominion to the flesh. The “Spirit” also knows the purpose (he knows what God wants) and it knows what is needed to accomplish it.  The “Spirit” of man must be the one calling the shots. While the “Spirit” is in control the “Soul” must incline to wisdom and the “Flesh” has to follow instructions. Your “Flesh” cannot drive the vision lest you chase things that aren’t intended. Your “Soul” will not always understand. The ones and twos may not always align. God has a funny mathematical system. This is where faith comes in. Faith will require the three to align in order to be effective. The “Soul” will have to submit to the “Spirit” and since faith without works is dead, the “Flesh” must execute as instructed. God is not in the business of overloading you. At times carrying out this vision will require us to press beyond how we feel. The weight may be heavy, but God will never give us more than we can bear. Notice in creation that God didn’t lay out anything to any part of man before that part of man was prepared for it.

Lastly, we have to commit to the vision. Our families are counting on us to stay the course. Our commitment to the vision does so much as it pertains to the strength of the family. It speaks to the integrity of the man. It says that he is willing to face obstacles and overcome them. When a man commits to something, his family can trust him. They learn to depend on him. Men we have to finish the race. Understand that because God gave it to us, it will require God to complete it. Committing to the vision also means committing to God. I fell in love with this scripture; its helps keep me focused when all hell breaks loose. 2 Timothy 2:4 No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier. I’ll leave you with this thought. There are many reasons why you may believe you can’t. Because God said do it is the only reason you need to believe you can.

 

Love you much Brother,

What kind of home do you want?

What are you building?

When looking for a home to puchase or even developing a blue print fot a home you desire to build, it's not a coincidence that the woman of the house is very concerned about the smallest detail of the hom. It;s in our nature to be detail oriented about where we spend time cooking, entertaining and living. Just as we are concerned naturally, we should be even more concerned about our homes spiritually. Proverbs 14:1 "A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands." God has graced us with the ability to build and create the home we desire thougth seeking the face of God. We determine what our foundation can handle, the strength of the winds our homes can sustain, and even how often our homes are cleaned. If there is turmoil in your home, TEAR IT DOWN and begin reconstruction, if there are unrulely children in your home, TEAR IT DSOWN and build up respectful children that fear God!!! If ther are financial struggles in your home, TEAR IT DOWN, and begin to walk in Proverbs 31:10-31. It has already been birthed in you the ability to build and create what God's word says we can have in our homes, go after it with diligence and take it by force.

Because wisdom is given so liberally (James 1:5), we are empowered to build what we want....... because each home is so different, only we know what it takes to keep our home in good condition. Maintenance in our homes are normally kept up by us in the natural, the same concept applies in the spirit. If you desire a home full of peace, BUILD IT. If you desire a home full of love, BUILD IT. BUILD what you desire in the spirit and watch Him manifest it even in your house..... we live in what we create!!!!!


START BUILDING!!!!!!!!!!!!

But she started it.........

Fellas,
Even when its not you.... It has to be you first. Over the last few years of my life I have been in several situations where at least in my mind I was not the one wrong. At the end of the day I had to decide which was more important between me being right or the peace returning to the situation. Arguments and disagreements can cause some serious tension between loved ones. The fact that the parties involved can call each other loved ones suggest that there is invested emotion and intimacy in the relationship. This alone adds to the heat of the battle at hand. At some point in this intense fellowship (arguing), facts and specifics go out the window and if you are not careful what develops is an emotional battle. Each party feeling a certain way about the situation, usually different, begin to either stand their ground or just decide not to deal with it all together. Both of which becomes dangerous to the situation. Standing your ground can sometimes display an insensitive approach to the other party involved. For some a feeling of inadequacy comes in and for others could be a myriad of other emotions. This often takes the appearance of a lot of finger pointing and accusing. Usually the accused can liken this experience to an attack. This is increasingly dangerous because of its nature in itself. When you continue to attack an enemy one of a few things will happen. The enemy will either attack back, retreat or die. Neither of which is acceptable for a healthy relationship . To not deal with it all together suggest that the other parties feelings are not worth your time. While I agree that some battles are just not worth fighting, when it comes to a loved one nothing should be taboo of conversation. To disregard places the entire ordeal in the others lap and says deal with it. Both attitudes are insensitive and can be very detrimental to the relationship. The Bible teaches us to deal with each other in love. Love is never disregarding. In both common approaches to an argument, disregard is present. Any disagreement should end with understanding and agreement. Sometimes this is not an easy place to reach in particularly when both parties are adamant in their regards. This is why relationships are work. There is no cookie cutter solution for problem solving within a relationship, but there has to be understanding. When one party is either not talking, or doing all the talking, understanding has no place to set up shop. Understanding has no foundation without compassion. Compassion in a relationship is vital.
When things are not right in a relationship it is unfair not to address it. How and when you address these things is an art that no man or woman has mastered. It is almost inevitable that one day you will get it wrong. We have to make sure that even though our approach was off that we don't continue in that path. A quick recovery is wise. Calm the situation. I am learning the hard way that texting and email are not always effective methods of communicating this kind of need. Your tone or mood can be difficult to read. Even though a straight to the point soft toned approach in person may be effective, those same words when typed will almost always come across as an attack. Gentlemen, NO ONE LIKES TO BE ATTACKED!
Be prepared to be apologetic. SERIOUSLY....Don't just say I'm sorry. Some where in this process you were wrong. Conduct a personal inventory and find that wrong or in many cases the multiple offenses and make them right. In many cases (more than not) you are going to be the one to apologize first. This is not a weakness men, even though it may feel like you are giving in. In all honesty you are setting a tone. This is a mark of leadership. It says to the atmosphere that the fighting is over. It removes the Devil from the situation and begins the peace restoration process. Yes it is submissive. True it is humiliating. It is supposed to be. When the man reacts in order it sets the tone for the atmospheric response. It moves you back into the favor of God, because you have submitted to peace. You have allowed peace of God to rule. Collosians 3:15. There are several scriptures that come to mind in regards to peace. The book of Proverbs hold a few of them listed here: 11:12, 12:20, 17:28. When your objective is to restore peace and reach a resolution to what ever the issue is, this is the way to go.

And Adam Knew Eve

And Adam Knew Eve……….

Marriage takes forgiveness, work, and unconditional love!!!!! Adam and Eve show us how to love each other even when they allowed the enemy to come in and cause division, blame and strife.

· The Excitement

Genesis 2:22 – 23 NLT

²² Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.²³ “At last!” the man exclaimed.
“This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
because she was taken from ‘man.’”
All of us remember the day we united with our husbands and the joy we felt, whether it was a huge ceremony or small and private. Adam showed his gratitude as if he had been waiting for someone with a likeness to him. Someone with same spirit as him, someone he could worship God with and share the blessing God had given to him.

· The Enemy and Our Excuses

Genesis 3:1 -4 NLT

¹ The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”

² “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. ³ “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’”

⁴ “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. ⁵ “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.”

Genesis 3:12 - 13 NLT

¹² The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”
¹³ Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?”
“The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.”

Marriage is the mirror image of the relationship between Christ and the church. After the Lord blesses our union and we begin our lives as a Christian couple the enemy comes immediately to bring division and strife. After they both sinned against God and failed each other (it was Adams position to cover her and her position to help) then the blame game began. Adam blamed her and she blamed the serpent. When our marriages are shaken by sin, blame, or mistakes we need to acknowledge our responsibly and own up to them.

· The Exile

Genesis 3: 23 NLT

²³ So the Lord God banished them from the Garden of Eden, and he sent Adam out to cultivate the ground from which he had been made.

Because of the sin of both of them, God banished them from the Garden of Eden. The place of peace. Have we ever allowed things to enter our home that took the peace and serenity from our sanctuaries?? IM GUILTY! But then what? How do we take back our home from the attack of the enemy? What example do Adam and Eve give to follow?

· What God Expects

Genesis 4:1 NLT

¹Now Adam knew Eve his wife

The very next scripture shows us exactly what He expects us to do in our marriages…… RECONCILE AND QUICKLY!!!! After the greatest fall to sin they still understood the importance of MAKE UP SEX! I know it’s a cliché, but its means so much more that the worlds view of it. When I first saw this I was shocked, but then again I was reminded that EVERYTHING is in the book. It is so very important naturally and even more so, spiritually, to engage intimately with our spouses to reconnect and renew our relationship with one another. The sin committed against God between Adam and Eve had consequences none of us today could probably bear, and if they can reconcile as they did, there is NOTHING we can’t conquer in our own marriages!!!!
Brings us back to the Excitement!!

And Adam Knew Eve…..LOL!!!

The Husbandry

This one is for the husbands: Know that your actions, provisions, reactions, responses, (basically your obedience to God's word) plays a significant part in your wife's sanctification. Sanctification is a process that we all must go through. We all must go through this process for ourselves but we can not do this by ourselves.

Ephesians 5:25-27 (NLT) For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.

In order for your wife to submit to you, you must first submit to her. Humility breeds humility. Pride breeds pride. This is bigger than but yet as simple as you get what you give. In submitting to her you are not showing a sign of weakness but instead displaying great strength. In doing so you facilitate an environment where you the husband (Gardener) can till the ground. You will be able to plant seeds that produce the fruit that are required for you both to live a life pleasing unto God. Contrary to popular belief women were not made to submit. They must be taught this. When God created (before he formed) woman, He gave her the same dominion that He gave man. She is just as royal as you are. You have to understand this to understand what you have. With that said, no woman will submit to a man who does not display the characteristics of one who understands his dominion.

No gardener destroys his crops. Instead he nurtures them. He gives them what they need. He understands that what he has on his hands may very well be no more than good ground. Husbands understand that if God gave you this woman, He gave you good ground. With this good ground there will be work. You must plow, de-weed. We have to be willing to work through and pull out all the weeds and junk that her past may have planted. If we don't take the time to understand and pull the weeds out, they will grown and take over, starving every good seed we plant.

Fellas this is a process. Much like the woman with the issue of blood, when she touched the hem of Jesus' garment she was instantly made whole. No doubt that after bleeding for twelve years she was still a little bloody. Meaning she still not only displayed the same outward appearance, but she was still used to dealing as if she was still a cast out. To bring it home... She still felt like she had to run the house. She still was a little on edge. She still felt the need to prove and assert herself. We Have to be willing to deal with that in a spirit of meekness.

Don't be mistaken men even though it sounds like the end result we are looking for here is a good wife. Its not that at all. When you do these things it doesn't only yield a better wife. It first makes you a great husband. One who will provide for her, facilitate an environment of growth, one who will be patient, and kind. This will require that you bear the fruit of the spirit. It means that you will pray for her. This will mean that yes you may be angered, but you sin not. This will require you to be faithful, understanding and loving. You will learn to lead her without forcing her to follow.  Bottom line it requires you to love her as Christ loves the church. When we get in line.... and stay in line, everything else has no choice but to fall in line. In then end God gets the glory because of the fact that He get it throughout.